IMS Wanderung; GORE-TEX, Edurne Pasaban; 23.10.2011

Here I am once again, after a long absence. That is actually a good thing, believe it or not. I realized that I write mostly when I am having a difficult time. So, having been absent means things have been going well. Though I have missed my writing many times. I find it enjoyable and cathartic.

Anyway, I have highs and lows, as many of us do. I’ve been having a small roller coaster week of slight ups and downs. Yesterday I treated myself to a relaxing day sitting in my recliner with my lightbox and my scented diffuser and I knitted. It was peaceful and calming. I had thought about going to the gym, which is good for me and always makes me feel good, but for some reason I couldn’t get there. I reveled in the peace and quiet and R&R. I needed it I think. I allowed myself to have that time. It worked because today I woke up in a great mood. I felt happy. Almost too happy, which does happen. It actually scares me sometimes when I get happy. I wonder just how long it will last. Well, today’s high was short lived, though there was an outside influence affecting me.

Sometimes there is this person who delights in harassing me for no reason. Today was one of those days. This person felt like giving me a hard time over stupid little things, unjustifiably so. I am stronger than I had been in the past, but my shell is only so tough. It is hard to stay up and strong when someone beats you down, especially when they have no idea how they affect me. So goes the roller coaster. Not too wild a ride this time, just small hills. Maybe tomorrow will be better, a new day. Time has a way of healing. Though I feel like another piece of me has been chipped away. I struggle so hard to stay up. Darn. It hurts even more so because this person is supposed to love me. If you love someone, why not treat them with respect and care? I’ll never know why they do what they do.

Well, it is Superbowl Sunday and I do have the game to look forward to. I enjoy watching football and am rooting for the Chiefs. That Mahomes is great.

I’ll trudge back up hill as best as I can.

Until next time…

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